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Inclusion

Inclusive dating: meeting someone without fitting into a box

Many dating services start with “man or woman?” and “looking for a man or a woman?”. For a lot of people that simply doesn’t fit. Inclusive dating means describing yourself as you are – and deciding what others get to see.

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What makes dating inclusive

A platform isn’t inclusive because it shows a rainbow flag. It’s inclusive when it works in everyday use – for women, men, non-binary people, trans people, people with another gender identity and anyone who prefers not to state their gender. And for every combination in between, whoever you love.

Three questions matter: can I describe myself instead of picking from a list that’s too short? Do I decide who learns what about me? And am I protected from disrespect and being outed?

Describe yourself in your own words

At FOUND LOVE you can choose woman, man, non-binary, “I’ll describe myself” (in your own words) or “prefer not to say”. You can add pronouns freely – she/her, he/him, they/them – or none at all.

Your sexual orientation is entirely optional and is not used for suggestions. You’re suggested to people only when the search is mutual: you’re looking for them, and they’re looking for you.

You control what’s visible

If you’re not out everywhere, control over visibility is essential. That’s why at FOUND LOVE:

  • Gender identity and orientation are hidden from everyone by default – only what you choose to share is shown.
  • Nobody can see who you’re looking for.
  • There is no public search and no profile pages that search engines could find.
  • Nothing is detected automatically – nothing is inferred from photos, faces, messages or behaviour.

Respect is a rule, not a request

Outing someone, demeaning them for their gender identity or orientation, or deliberately ignoring their pronouns breaks the community guidelines. You can report any profile or conversation, and the other person never learns who reported them. A person on the team – never an automated system alone – decides on suspensions.

If someone threatens to tell others about you or demands photos or information, they’re trying to pressure you. Report it – and don’t pay anything.

Tips for safer queer dating

  • Share at your own pace. Nobody is entitled to your story before you trust them.
  • Choose photos carefully if you’re not out everywhere – for example without a recognisable workplace or home.
  • Meet somewhere public where you feel comfortable, such as a place you already know.
  • Get support if you need it: Austria has counselling services for LGBTIQ+ people, and the police (133) can help with threats or violence.

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